Dear Baby, I'm Watching Over You

So.

I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown today.

No, that's not sarcasm, that's not me exaggerating a bit to get a chuckle.

I'm serious. Im so serious I wish I wasn't.

In my life I have had challenges. Some were tough but I got through ok. My latest challenge I "knew" was going to be really tough.

Well, really tough doesn't quite describe just how hard I realized my situation is about to become.

Here's why.

I'm deploying. My time has come to go overseas. To do what I signed up for. Something that makes me filled with pride to finally have the opportunity to do.

All weekend my unit was being trained on all the various topics to give us the best "heads up" to prepare for our deployment. Ways to get our family prepared, ways to interact with the other cultures, and all the soldierly skills in connection with the Geneva Convention.

Let me just say this. I AM FULLY aware I want this. I AM FULLY aware of all the benefits that will come my way as a result of this assignment.

It was a simple concept, train up, leave my daughter in the best of hands and go off and do what I always knew I had to do eventually.

So as I was filling out paperwork during a presentation today, there was a block that asked for this:

 MOBILIZATION DATE:_______________________(DD/MM/YYYY)

and we got the date....and I wrote it down. (I won't be sharing what that date is....I assume you all understand why)

And then this huge lump started filling up in my throat,

my eyes started to well up, 

and I started to shake, that nervous shake that one does with their legs....and the tears began to pour...and as the presentation went on, 

I sat there in my seat, 

wiping away tears that were overflowing,

biting my tongue, and clenched my teeth to keep from letting out any sound,

and quietly cried to myself.

The countdown has begun.

THIS IS REAL, THIS IS HAPPENING.

In X amount of months and days, I will be on an airplane to someplace VERY VERY FAR from my baby..

MY.

LITTLE.

GIRL.

My head filled with all these thoughts of waking up in the morning to her little feet pitter pattering into my room to wake me up for oatmeal.  The days full of random kisses, hugs and "I LOVE YOU MOMMY"s.

My little two year old, the improvements she makes with her words, her alphabet and her numbers. And then I realized that I will be gone for

A YEAR 

A WHOLE YEAR.

An entire year without her kisses, without her cute little arms wrapped around my neck for the hugs she loves to give. I will have to go a year without holding my baby.

and she will go a WHOLE year without her mommy. No kisses from Mommy, no huggies, no kisses on the booboo's, no birthdays.

and when we see each other, we will be a whole year older, a year of growth and changes.

Then the real hurtful thoughts come in,

Will she remember me?

When I come home after being away, if I reach out to her, will she reach out for me?

What if she DOESN'T??!!

Thinking about this, it absolutely SHATTERS my heart. It hurts SO MUCH.

I don't want our bond to break, deteriorate, NONE OF it...

I KNOW.

I  KNOW she's only two, but this little girl is so intelligent, the last time I left it was for three months and it took quite a while for her to really be ok around me again.  It was almost as if she was making me pay back for leaving her for such a long time.

Three months. What happens after TWELVE??

This is what caught me off guard today. Are you asking why think about this now, not sooner?  I have! Plenty of times.  I KNOW I am not the FIRST and I will NOT be the last mother to leave their child behind to serve their country.  And "logistically" I have been making every arrangement to make sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible.

• My daughter has her closest relatives, to watch over her and continue to raise her a well-mannered, healthy girl.
• My income will be even better while deployed so she will definitely not go without!
• We are absolutely blessed to be in an age with an amazing amount of technology to rely on! The internet, SKYPE, at the very least I can send home pictures and gifts and record videos to send.
• The Army does their best to provide for the family's needs as while while the Mothers/Fathers are deployed.

These things do lend some comfort,

But I experienced a level of clarity that made for a wake-up call to realize true emotions. And I have to be glad, that God revealed this to me now, because I couldn't imagine having this all come about after I have already left.

I consider it a blessing to know this now, it buys me time to prepare us even better. Because from now until the day I leave I intend to,

smother her with smooches,

 and endless hugs, 

there will definitely be more occasions for quality time and there will be more pictures of her WITH mommy in FRONT of the camera!!!

More pictures like these,

 I intend to make a collage for her room with these pictures, some will have me in my civilian clothes, some in my uniform.  Hopefully this can bring up a dialog with my mother and her, so she can begin to understand why Mommy isn't home and what she is doing in that far away place.

We will make videos together, so she can watch them while I am away. The army even makes these plush dolls that look like soldiers with a vinyl pocket on the head so that a picture of the loved one can be put in, offering another way for the child(ren) to cope with the absence of their mothers, fathers, sisters, or brothers. I really hope she gets on of those..

Books, there ARE books for children of deploying/deployed MOTHERS....one book I am interested in shares the title of my post, and I hope that it is another way to help my young daughter understand why I'm gone, and that just because I left does NOT mean I don't love her with every bit of my heart.

There is a lot out there, and she will be taken care of, and now that I have been graced with this opportunity to do more for her, then maybe, just maybe I may feel better.

Don't get me wrong. I still feel like I have been punched in the gut.  It still hurts and maybe I am not over my breakdown just yet, but something at this level of seriousness, isn't going to go away overnight. Who knows, it may go away and come back....I can't even imagine what I will feel one I take my seat on that plane...

on take off....

and from there....

but regardless I have decided to focus on several things...(and this is really personal)

My daughter, she is my everything, and as much as it kills me to be away, she is the reason why it is SO important that I need to succeed in everything I do over there.

I have a renewed and now strengthening faith in God and what he is capable of, with LOTS of prayers, and a bible to read, I know my faith will help get me by,

and this blog.

I have made so many friends in all of you, I appreciate the links I've made through it, and through Facebook in conjunction with everything Heavenly Blossoms. I have read your writings, your blog posts, you have shared with me (and readers) so much, I have been blessed to have regular dialog with many of you beyond that. So I look forward to continuing communications with you all, and posting regularly in the coming months in preparation and while I am away. It will be yet another form of therapy I will desperately need.

And as far as that goes, it already feels a little better to share this.  Maybe there is someone out there about to go through the same thing, maybe somehow I hope that I made someone feel less alone in this situation, maybe there's someone out there who has been through this in which case I would completely welcome some sound advice!

Thank you so much for hearing me out...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For any of you interested in the books, here is a link to the list of books where I found a few that I would like to get for my family.

http://www.operationwearehere.com/ChildrenBooks.html

National Craft Month! Coffee Filter Flowers

Hello Hello!!! :)


New Jersey had a REALLY nice day!!! It was 70°!!!!!

The little one and I headed out to the waterfront and she rode (as I pushed) her tricycle up and down the boardwalk, when it got too windy we packed up and headed home. Where we went back outside for a walk and to walk the dog, so everyone got a little Vitamin D and fresh air today!


We continued our enjoyment of the weather by hanging out on our patio and finishing up our craft for this week!

It's March and that means a LOT of things are going on! Its Women's Month! Its the 100th Anniversary of Girl Scouts, its' my birthday month AND its NATIONAL CRAFT MONTH!


So the little one and I are going to do a brand new craft every week! This week we did coffee filter flowers!


Each day this week we sat down with markers, highlighters, and the basket type of coffee filter.

It was great since she's only two it gave her a chance to see the colors bleed out from the marker on the paper and we learned our primary and secondary colors this way and how mixing two together make another different color!


Out on the patio, we finished up the flowers and I used sparkly pipe cleaner for the stems. I let her pick the colors she wanted, and not by just pointing them out. I had her call out the colors so I knew that she was getting them right. She's pretty on point with her colors I must say. She makes me really proud :)

So after she chose the pipe cleaners, I took over and poked it through the center of the filter, twisted them around the base that I made by pinching the center and squishing it through to the top.

This is my heavenly blossoms with our handmade paper heavenly blossoms! :)..hamming it up for the camera!

Like I said....miss diva in the works....

We gathered the flowers and put them in an cleaned out, label removed Frappucino bottle (looks like old fashioned milk bottles!!

I also added a flower that I bought on a whim in Ikea.....Sigh...I Heart IKEA!

But I LOVE THIS Bouquet MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!

 I can see this being a REALLY good craft for Mother's Day :) Or string the flowers along on yarn and make garland for Spring. I will even make an extra one with her so she can have her own little bouquet on her little play kitchen! :)


Have a great day all!! Be sure to leave a comment below!!

Our trip to Adventure Aquarium!

Hope your weekend is going well!!!

The little one had an AMAZING DAY on Friday. We woke up and watched Finding Nemo (she loves to speak whale) after the movie was over, I told her were leaving to go see Nemo, Dory, and Crush today!! She was SOOO excited!!! LOL She's only two but man this kid is quick!

The Adventure Aquarium is in Camden. It's pretty far from us, basically next to Philly. Knowing that it would be a fairly long ride, and food there would probably be expensive, I made all of us sandwiches and packed snacks into a cooler the night before, so we could lunch in a rest stop on the way, or at least in the parking lot (which has a flat fee, so you can take your time).
So we loaded up the car and headed out and down the NJ Turnpike!



Once we got to the aquarium, bought our tickets and the really nice attendant gave me a military discount and we got our little one in for free even though she missed the free under 2 cutoff by about a month! We were handed a map and we decided to start with the Hippos.....

Check out her reactions! :)



She loved it although she didn't trust getting too close :)


I have to admit, it really was the coolest thing to see those Hippos.  They were MASSIVE. I kept thinking of the dancing hippos in Disney's Fantasia with the way they twirled underwater though. What can I say......I have these really random thoughts sometimes....hahah

FISH!!!

Just enough time to capture this picture!

I have to brag a bit here, I like how I caught her reflection in the glass!

Surfing!! :) It's okay if she is facing the wrong way...at least her form is right!

On a regular Mommy day, I should really start committing to wearing headbands!

A shot of Philly Skyline, with the sunset!

I used my iPhone to capture the pictures and video.  It was WAY easier than dealing with my digital camera.

The aquarium really was a ton of fun.  There were touch tanks for these tiny sharks but they were asleep and weren't able to reach unless we want to get elbow deep! The next touch tank was for various sting rays and the like, they were sooooo into the human interaction, as soon as we put our two fingers in, they came over and flapped around so we can touch their silky skin.


 As you can imagine, I felt like a kid again, even I was having fun with the exhibits, I also made sure I savored every moment with my little girl, going over what colors the fish were, and feeling like a proud momma when she would see and say "Alligator!", "Dolphins!", "Sharks!", "Starfish!"

At the gift shop it was love at first site, so to enhance her experience we just couldn't say no ;)

 I didn't get too many pictures, as soon as I upload the rest I will definitely update this post to show you all. But all in all, the trip was a complete SUCCESS!! I had fun, she had fun and we didn't leave empty handed, she got her hippo, I got a picture to remember our day and we both have a book to share so we can learn together about marine life, which includes some crafty science experiments in the back!!

 Best of all it was a great way to bond back with my daughter after my long absence from home and after my mother went back home. We will have these amazing memories and even though she may be too young, we have photos and videos for backup!

Mommies Don't Get Sick Days

It's the first day of February, and I caught the bug....

no, not the love bug....although I would surely prefer it!

My little one has had a nasty little stomach virus these last few days. The crazy thing about it is by looking at her you would never think she was sick.

After a bath and wardrobe change.

This time it was especially tough for me. Granted she is two years old, she has had her fair share of lost meals.  But it was her first episode after solid food. AND BOYY was it NOT easy.  It's a real challenge for me to deal with anyone getting sick that way. Being a medic KINDA  made it easier for me to deal with it, out of compassion for ill soldiers, and I thought that being this little girls mommy, would make me immune, but it didn't.

I held my own, but as I cleaned up the mess,  I looked at my little girl's face and she looked worried and I realized, I had the "EW" face. I felt so bad. I didn't want her to think she was yucky to me and thats exactly what I read off of her face. And that was my wakeup call.  "EW" face was turned off and I immediately went into soothing mode for her.

So the little one was immediately placed on her BRAT diet, and it was just water/Pedialyte and chicken broth for the remainder of that night.

The following day, breakfast included toast and apple sauce.  We kept her hydrated, (she actually loves the Pedialyte juice boxes.) For snack we stepped it up a notch, the wheat bread wasn't toasted and she had some yogurt with banana slices.  

In the meantime I was feeling über sick (nausea was the star of the show), but unlike times before I became a mother, I couldn't just lay out on the couch and nap all day.  This little girl needed me to keep my "A" game alive and well.  It meant lifting up my two year old and carrying her up the stairs even as the same illness knocked me on my behind making me feel like my own body weight was two tons.

It meant consoling my little baby (yes she will always by my little baby) the best I could even as my stomach churned and my abdomen pinched with pain....to keep a smile on my face so she could have one on hers.

Even in the Army, you don't call out sick, it doesn't work that way. But if you are sick there is a specific time of the day where you can see someone for treatment and they will send you home to rest if they feel that you should. But this isn't the Army...and with my latest challenge as a mommy I wouldn't have it any other way but I  have now learned that you don't get sick days in Mommyhood.

My day in pictures....

I'm home and it feels good.

I got to mess around with my craft table today. Finally using my new craft station was satisfying

In between that I got to hang out with my little one...after being gone so long, its taking her some time to warm up to me again.....never thought I would ever say that, and to be honest it sucks....but today was a good day and we were giggling and laughing together. It was great...

Got a shot of my sleepy little doggy too...she loves to bask in the sunlight. Especially since it gets so cold on our first level (shoddy construction D: )

Ok, so this is really a video, but it made me laugh and if you have been following football this year than you are aware of Tim Tebow and the media circus that surrounds him, then you will laugh at this too. Jimmy Fallon is quite epic with his rendition of Major Tom!




I got to end my day with a fabulous picture I found online, we always get caught up in sometimes making these unrealistic standards and beat ourselves down when we don't measure up, soooo this picture really put it into perspective for me.

Well that's all I got guys!!!

Hope it made you smile!!! Please share any goodies that did the same for you today! :)

~Jenny~

Where I find comfort when I am NOT with my daughter.

I'm in Pennsylvania right now on Army time. I am training for a new job in the Army, something like an IT Technician.  So at this point I have been away from my daughter for  24 days, and just a few days ago, got notice that instead of staying until Nov. 17, I will be staying until the end of DECEMBER!! See, I'm not all that far from where I live, at most it is a 2 hour drive. But the Army has mileage limits and well, where I live is WAAYYY beyond that. So seeing her isn't exactly easy.

About two weeks ago, give or take a day, my little one got to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live! back home. Where I wasn't.

What was I doing?

I was having a rough day, well, when i let it sink in, it gets tough.  REALLY TOUGH, like how can I go on.  Of the things that truly cheer me up its that I love seeing her happy.  There is a huge brightness in her eyes, she GLOWS.

MY...BABY....SPARKLES.

Her dad sent me a picture of her during that concert.  Man...... I was instantly SLAMMED with all of these emotions. I immediately felt this big lump in my throat, but I also felt so overjoyed by her beautiful, precious face, covered in genuine excitement at seeing her FAVORITE characters live and in-person.

I can't help but let out this HUGE sigh....

and maybe a few tears...

I miss her so much, I really do.  She is such a beautiful being. Children are so amazing.  She is at a great time in her life, she has no worries, she is constantly around people who love her unconditionally.  Even though I am sad that I am away from her, I am really happy that she is surrounded by so much happiness.  

Yet, as a mommy, I cannot help but worry about the things that I feel that are out of my control. 

I still worry about things like:

 ~Will she get enough attention?

 ~Will someone make sure to try and keep a smile on her little face? (yes I know this is impossible she is nearing 2 after all, but yes....that smile is everything to me.)

 ~Even when she is mad, I hope that no one gives her a reason to be sad, that her feelings aren't hurt.

I keep telling myself that its only been about 3 weeks. But at the first week I was already feeling the pain of being away.

I start to think about how I could ever handle the 2 MONTHS that I have left!

I even begin to think how will I be able to handle one month? What about one YEAR when I deploy?

Then I get lost in that and I'm flooded with thoughts about what she will do while I am gone, how old she'll be when I return and what I will miss.....

cute little Halloween costumes

Christmas HUGS

New Years KISSES

Then I have to reel myself back in....because its NOT that serious!! Not yet anyhow.  I have no reason to worry, she is in amazing care.  She is doing FUN things, smiling, laughing and enjoying her time. 

That in itself is a good reason for me to calm down to find comfort(even though while typing this, I'm doing some serious tearing up)!

I can't deny that.  After all I am in the Army, I have taken an oath and I am obliged to uphold that. Which means that I have to do this here. THIS, is where I NEED to be, this is why my family is where THEY are. I am NO good here if all my attention is not where it needs to be which is my training.  It's amazing that my family pulls through, thats what its about.

I am constantly reminding myself not to feel bad/guilty no matter how often those feelings keep creeping into my heart.   

Mommas.....we CANNOT feel guilty when what we must do for our children takes us away from time to time.  It opens the doors for better bonding.

Bonding with Daddy,

                                    or Grandma,

                                                          Aunts or Uncles.......

Maybe this is also a time for us. A time to (re)bond with OURSELVES. 

Because as good as it feels to be around our babies 24/7, its very important for us mommies to make use of the time we have with ourselves. "Me" time if you will.

So in the time that I smile at her photos  and laugh (or cry) watching her baby videos, I remind myslef that she is ok, MORE than ok, she's JUST FINE.

And I take that free time I have and treat myself to better nights of sleep, more focus on my studies and focusing my goals with a clear head for Heavenly Blossoms, my spirit, my faith, and redefining my role as a mother. Which in the end result WILL be the best for my daughter.

Just remember mommas (and even you daddies)  that it will ALL PAY OFF as it is ALL OUT OF LOVE!!!!

Being an Army Mommy & Grateful Daughter

Cleaning, cooking, crafting, and getting my new business to stand up, playing games with my little one (we are working on colors & shapes), and now packing...

                             PACKING??

YES, because I am leaving.

In just a few VERY SHORT days, I will be heading out to Pennsylvania for 47 days to train up in a new MOS. That means I am changing military jobs and I will pretty much be cutoff from my daughter for the duration of that time.  I won't return until NOVEMBER!!


Anxious?

     Yes.

Worried?

     Of course!

And missing her will be a huge guarantee.

But its gonna be ok, because while I am gone and her dad is working long hours, she will be in great hands....

Grandma's hands...

She's gonna kill me for putting her picture up!

My mom will be flying in tomorrow from Puerto Rico. She's will be watching the baby while I go off and play Army.  Unfortunately, I won't even be around tomorrow to see her come in since I will be working extra days with my unit to make a little extra cash (and boy do we need it).

Fifteen years ago, when I was just a teenager, like most teenagers, I didn't really appreciate my mom as I should have. Talk to me then and I just SWORE I was just misunderstood.  

Boy, was I wrong.

My mom was always doing the right things by us.  She was always present for our extracurricular activities whether it was a school musical, a wrestling match for my brother, or the many football games in which she helped us raise money in the concession stands for the High School band we both played in.  

( I wish I had some pictures to show you guys but they were in a family members basement and were destroyed when the water heater exploded)

She put the pressure on us to keep our grades up, and made sure what we knew were privileges instead of entitlements. She was the good guy, and the bad guy. 

She was all of that and more, and I can honestly say that I would never have understood that level of dedication and love until I became a parent.

She's supported us in everything we set our hearts on.

Turns out she was the one who was misunderstood, 

BY ME.

I understand the meaning now of "I do it because I love you".

The best news about that is that once I had  my own baby, that didn't change, she still does, and my little HB gets some of that unconditional love too.

So she is dropping everything she has going on in PR and coming down to New Jersey for over a month and a half for us. I can't ask for more. 

It means a lot to me and I am so happy that they can catch up on all the lost time (they haven't seen each other since February). 

Isn't it amazing what a mother will do for their child?

This is how I cheer up! (after a rough day)

Today...


                    was going ok....Charlie was doing really well.  


She was groomed today and looked sooooo fabulous. 




But then... 
  

   my day turned super yucky.

   I couldn't describe what I felt exactly. Was I mad? disappointed? I just didn't know.

I was driving as this was going on....and I was on my way home and I realized...

I had to forget about it and DRIVE ON...

(literally)

And of course it paid off, because as soon as that door opened...I heard.....

"MOMmeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"


I walked up those stairs and gave her a big ol' squeeze, kissed her cheeks and spent the rest of evening playing games and making silly faces with her.

 I'm all smiles now because my little one is really good at taking my mind off of the bad and making those little positives so much better.  

And now that she's in bed and all snuggled up while I sit down and write this out to you, I try to keep riding on that good wave, and keep my mind off of what brought me down today.


Thank goodness for friends, moscato, and back to back episodes of glee.




What do you guys do when you have one  of "those" days?




and....just one more question....

Source: google.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Isn't this the CUTEST!?

PS: Love that episode where the boys battle the girls for the opening song!

About Heavenly Blossoms

Welcome to Heavenly Blossoms, my blog,
where I write about experiences that come with mommyhood, army life, and crafting in my somewhere in the middle of all of that!

I'm a single mommy, a soldier and now a blogger.

The concept of sharing my personal life had me uneasy at first.  However, in the world of blogging I have come to know so many of you out there,

JUST. LIKE. ME.

Many of you are SO open about your lives, sharing the intimate details of motherhood, home life, and your amazing talents. Your posts read like a best friend just catching up with you about their day, it's comfortable and refreshing, finding things in common.

Because I have been so lucky, I want to share too. I want to be able to provide here  what others have unknowingly done for me!

Being a mommy now, it is a full days work crammed into 24 short hours, am I right? Sometimes its easy breezy....and then there are those days that make you want to lock yourself in the bedroom and pull down the shades needless to say....a tad challenging! 

But how many of us can say that we are glad that is all we have to worry about? 

           Anyone? Bueller? 

Riiight.... 

            women have multiple titles, housekeeper, nurse, therapist, motivational speaker, cook, and for many other women out there you can add protectors of our country's freedom to that.  We are natural born multi-taskers.

For the days where I reap in the rewards of these titles and the days where I just don't quite make my goal this is where I go to share it all!

                                                            THIS is why I am here.

For you military mommas, I also look forward to sharing with you how I cope with the moments where being a soldier HAS to come first.  I want to be there for the mommas who are new to the military and the military women who will be new to being a momma.  I also really hope to hear from you all as well.  I know that you Army/Air Force/Marine/Navy/Coast Guard mommas are out there, and its times like this that every bit of advice can go a long way for all of us :)

My reason for this is that my daughter is my heavenly blossom, everyday I am blessed with little tidbits of love and happiness because of her.  I learn to see beauty in unexpected situations. Even if my day or week has been rough and yes even if she may have something to do with it, she is my secret ingredient to making it all better.

I want to pay that forward, I want other mommies from all walks of life to come here, to find relief, a few smiles and even a little bit of laughter; heavenly blossoms if you will, to make your day a little better, a little brighter, and to help you find the beauty in life....



So whatever it is that brought you here today,  I hope you found it helpful, and yet I hope you return for more.  These Heavenly Blossoms are for you and I hope they do for you as my little Heavenly Blossom has done for me!

Thank you!

Jenny

These are the days....

my little girl up to this point has been Miss Independent.  She's not one to cuddle too much or hang with Mommy or Daddy. She's a strong little woman....and very good at lounging in her own chair instead of sitting next to Mommy...

yet the last week and a half or so we have been hit with 

teething (about five new teeth including pre-molars)

earache

allergies

and 

the ever loathed stomach virus!

My poor little one has become quite clingy.  She is always by my side, and if she isn't by my side, then she is laying in my arms or resting on my shoulder, which she used to hate doing. I must admit she is a real trooper, being hit with so much she still sleeps through the night, 

As much as I hate the fact that she's sick, I love that it gives me the opportunity to cuddle with her, lay with her, and that she constantly runs up to me for "Up! Up!" 

And I get to pick her up while she just lays her warm little head in the crook of my neck and her little hands grip my sides and my neck for dear life....

When she was born, there was an issue where she may have swallowed (and she did) some meconium, so the moment she came into our lives my hopes for her to be laid into my arms were dashed.

Way after they checked her and cleaned her up...Still so happy to have her.

For the 1st 30 minutes of her life she went right to the cradle scale to be attended to and I laid on the other side of the room...happy because she was here, happy that she was crying (and breathing) and she was being taken care of as she needed to, but incredibly sad because I didn't I didn't get to hold her, and I barely caught a glimpse of her as doctors, nurses and family members crowded around to get a better look.....

SO,

  its the days like these that I will remember....AND CHERISH.

not because of how sick or miserable she was necessarily, but because I know that she isn't a baby anymore, she's a toddler, and the days where I get to cradle and soothe this little tiny person in my arms are disappearing fast.

and it will feel sooner than later when she's too old for hugs, and kisses and laying with Mommy.

I will remember these days as the moments where Little Leilani feels better only in Mommy's arms...where I can look at her little face and just relish the fleeting moments.  To enjoy the feeling of holding this little person ever so dependent on me, my love and my warmth. 

My little "Boo"...just a couple of months ago.

She is the reason why I don't mind the sleepless nights, the crafts and projects that I have yet to accomplish, the blogging I have been absent from, and  the pile of schoolwork that I leave to the 11th hour....

Her love, and loving her makes me happier than anything else.....everything I do, is for her :)

I love being a MOM!! ♥♥♥

BREATHE!!!!!

OK.....SO i FINALLY catch a wee break...my arms are sooo tired!! Babygirl has been quite fussy this afternoon and after a nice tight swaddle that she really didn't want to be in...she went out cold!! and now she slumbers...looking like a Little Mummy!!!

So anyone out there that might find my little speck of blog in this great big blog universe, and enjoy reading these two fresh ones I have put out for you all today. Let me know how I'm doing so far :)

And for you blog professionals....I am trying to figure out a way to make my blog title more of a banner....I know what images and possibly designs I would prefer to use for it..however I have no idea to add it in (seems like there isn't enough space for HTML codes).

Well its nice to really stop and take a breath here. My boyfriend is off playing Army for several weeks and I'm @ my his parents house, it give me a chance to have some time to myself, go online, get in touch with friends, and handle the biz..yadda yadda yadda!!

Postpartum life is NOT easy, I keep reminding myself that I was once in incredible shape, and I can always do it again!!! However, finding the time for that has been pretty tough! I am sooo inspired by all the new gear coming out from my fav stores. Forever 21 makes plenty of money off of me, even when prego and having a baby, I just can't resist those ACCESSORIES!!! :) I've also been bombarded with emails from Urban Outfitters, and these little emails just give me more motivation along with everything else to push myself to run harder, do one more pushup or one more situp, to get to where I was again!

.....now

just to find the time!! ;)

I hope you guys enjoy, its probably pretty boring so far but I would greatly appreciate some tips and opinions to keep this going! I like it so far and I hope to get to a point where I can give back to the audience! :) I have alot to offer you all with regards to my background :)

Anything in regards to clothes, makeup, babies, and military, and then some....I'd be glad to give you all a glance!

xoxo JennyO!

PS....I am also planning on posting some vids, maybe one of my creative recipes or handling my oh so curly hair :)....so feel free to comment on that too!!!